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Walk With Me · Milford Track, New Zealand · March 11, 2027

I am choosing something hard

I have lost four of my children. Life has handed me pain I never asked for. This time, I am the one who chooses. I will walk 33.2 miles through the mountains of New Zealand, carrying my children with me, and honoring the life I am still choosing to live.

And the journey doesn’t end at the trail. I plan to turn it into a book and a documentary so that parents walking through the loss of a child can see they aren’t alone, and that healing is possible even when it doesn’t look the way we expected.

Your gift helps bring both to life, from writing and editing the book to filming and producing the documentary. When you give, you’re helping put this story into the hands of a grieving mother or father who needs it most.

Your gift reaches further. I’m setting aside part of what we raise for full and partial scholarships, offered based on need, so grieving mothers who cannot afford support can still receive it.
Three of Vickie's children resting their heads on a blue float at the lake, wet-haired and smiling
Choose how you walk with me
The first 50 people to give get a handwritten postcard from New Zealand. 50 of 50 left.
33.2miles of trail
4days of walking
The walk begins in
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The author behind this story
Amazon Best SellerIn 8 categories for my memoir, Crystal’s Butterfly Effect
2x International Best SellerAs a contributing author
Interviewed by Jack CanfieldOn Success TV
Favorite Speaker award2025
Featured on nearly 20 podcastsAnd in Brighter Life and Mystic Living Magazine
Why I walk

Each step is for them, for me, and for everyone who has lost someone they love

My daughter Leslie was born still. My son Wesley died of an overdose. My daughter Crystal had an asthma attack and her heart stopped. My son Jesse had a seizure and drowned. Crystal and Jesse left this world only 12 days apart. In 2018, I also lost my dad without warning. They are with me, every single day.

Today I guide mothers who have lost a child, and some who, like me, have lost more than one. I know that strange in-between place, where you can never go back and you cannot see tomorrow. I want them to know they do not have to carry the weight of what happened. In time, and at their own pace, they can learn to live alongside it.

I am not walking to escape my grief. I am walking with it. I want to show that a heart can break more than once and still choose to climb.

Leslie
1980 · Born still
Leslie never had a chance at life. I was not ready for that loss back then. Now I honor her fully.
Wesley
2017 · Age 33
An amazing artist who did not know his worth. Now he paints the skies and the flowers for me. I see him in everything made with art.
Crystal
2023 · Age 41
Funny, a loyal friend, and a lover of animals. A fierce mother to her four boys, who miss her every day along with her husband.
Jesse
2023 · Age 37
A chef who loved to design and create. He dreamed of speaking on stage, so now I speak in his place.
Lester
2018 · My Dad
A musician who wrote his own songs. His jokes were so bad they were good. He loved his grandchildren with his whole heart.
Vickie in workout clothes and a small backpack, walking toward the camera on her way back from the beach
A training morning, heading back from the beach to the trail.
What I will carry

Everything I own will be on my back, so what I carry has to be small. I will wear Crystal's ring and Jesse's leather bracelet. And I will carry a letter Wesley wrote me a long time ago, one I cherish.

The seed my dad planted

When I was 13, my dad and I were building a rock wall together, and he stopped and said:

"Vickie, I think you could do anything you set your mind to."

I have heard his voice every time fear or doubt showed up. I hear it now, as I get ready for this trail.

In memory of my dad, Lester
Vickie smiling in a white sweater, seated by the water among green palms, with a singing bowl beside her
About Vickie

I am 66, and I have never been more ready

For 40 years, my life has been about self-care, wellness, and movement. Today I am a steady presence for people in the hardest seasons of their lives, using breathwork, Reiki, and gentle practices that calm the body and quiet the mind.

At first, I worried it was getting late for me. Then I realized that the wisdom from all of those years, and my devotion to my life’s work, are exactly what have prepared me for this experience.

I don’t hand people a map. I guide them to trust the compass they already carry.

Help put this story into the hands of a grieving parent

Claim a mile, claim a training day, or give any amount. Every gift helps bring the book and the documentary to life.

or give any amount
How it works

Four simple steps

  1. 1ChoosePick a mile on the trail, or a training day on a date that means something to you.
  2. 2GivePurchase your mile or training day.
  3. 3ShareRight after, you’ll be prompted to send their photo and a few words. You choose whether they are shared on this page.
  4. 4Walk togetherI say their name on my training day or on the trail, and share the photos and video with you.
Claim a mile · from $500

Choose a mile, name who it is for

Pick a mile that means something to you. Maybe it matches a birthday or a date you will never forget. When I reach that mile marker, I will photograph it and say the name of the person you are honoring. The trail has no internet, so I will share it all with you when I get home.

Each mile is $500. The first mile and the finish are special, the first step onto the trail and the last step home, and each is $1,000.

Open · $500 First mile and finish · $1,000 Your choice Already claimed

Tap a mile above to begin.

The first mile and the Finish · $1,000 each
The first step and the last

My first step will be at Glade Wharf, on the shore of Lake Te Anau, where the trail begins. My last will be at Sandfly Point, the very end of the trail, and I know I will be emotional. That last step will be six months in the making. Taking it means I took the first one, and every step in between. It was never about the finish line. It is about the journey that gets you there.

Claim a training day · $29

Walk beside me before I ever reach the trail

I train every day from now until March. I’m not training alone. I train with BEYOND, a group of colleagues who carry one another through the early mornings, the sore muscles, and the days we would rather stay in bed.

Choose a day that means something to you, like a birthday, an anniversary, or a wedding day. As I start my training that morning, I will say the name of the person you are honoring and share the video.

At $29, a training day lets anyone be part of this walk. More than one person can share a day, so no date is ever taken. A day with many names turns into a whole circle walking with me.

Milford Sound under a bright blue sky, with snowy peaks beyond the water
Claim a training day

At checkout, you will choose your day and tell me whose name I will say that morning. Right after, you can share their photo and your message. Please choose your day by 6 p.m. Eastern time the evening before, so I see it in time. If it comes in later, I will say their name on my next training morning.

Claim a training day · $29
Where your gift goes

Every gift has a home

The book
Writing and editing a book about this walk, so a grieving mother or father can hold this story in their hands and know they are not alone.
The documentary
Filming and producing a documentary of the journey, from my training mornings to the last step at Sandfly Point.
Giving back to grieving mothers
I’m setting aside part of what we raise for full and partial scholarships, offered based on need. Grieving mothers who cannot afford support can receive it with me, or through an approved referral when another kind of care is the better fit.
Give any amount

Not ready to choose a mile or a day? You can give any amount you like, to the walk or straight to the scholarship fund. You choose at checkout, and every gift matters.

Give any amount

Gifts are not charitable, tax-deductible donations.

Questions

Good to know

Can I give without choosing a mile?

Yes. A training day is $29, and many people can share the same day. You can also give any amount you like, with no mile or day needed.

Can more than one person honor the same mile or day?

Each mile carries one name. Training days can carry as many names as people choose. If the mile you wanted is taken, a training day on a date that matters to you is a beautiful choice.

When will I see the photos and video?

Training day videos are shared soon after that morning. There is no internet on the trail, so mile photos and videos are shared after I get home.

What if the weather changes the trail?

Fiordland is one of the rainiest places on earth, and now and then the rangers close part of the trail to keep walkers safe. If that happens on your mile, I will still say your person's name at the closest place I can safely reach, and share it with you. No name gets left behind.

Will I get a postcard?

The first 50 people to give, in any way and any amount, will receive a handwritten postcard, mailed to them from New Zealand.

Is my gift tax-deductible?

No. This walk is part of my business, Blu-el-lah LLC, which is not a charity, so gifts are not tax-deductible.

Follow the walk

Can't give right now? Walk with me anyway

Get my training videos, stories from the trail when I get home, and news about the book and the documentary, sent straight to you. It is free, and you can leave anytime.

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